So sick…
Ok! so I know that’s the title to a song but that’s exactly how I feel right now…
I feel like death warmed up, I feel like I have been whipped by a tornado and then slam dunked into a frenzy. I feel like mush doing summersaults…
They call it the flu and sinusitis but I call it furious pain driving a woman to insanity
I cant think of any other way to describe how I feel…
and now I’m going home
Adious
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
When I die
When I die…
Ha, ha, ha that must have been the most riveting title I have ever written (Ok, maybe not!) So getting to the point, I finally decided what I want written on my tombstone when I die…
‘Here lies the sista who gave all and held back nothing. The one who lived life truly making a difference’
Quite big boots for my 18year old boots to fill… well lets just say I take it all or nothing. I don’t like being a mediocre person. So you will want to know what I mean by my words…
Why live life with nothing to show for it at the end? Why live life and only have offspring, a car, and a house to show for it at the end? Why live life purely trying to make ends meet? Why live life just for the sake of living?
I want to live life having made a difference to someone’s life, having left an impact in a community of people who will truly appreciate it. I want to live a life with no regrets. A life that when I get to heaven I will not have to search in a bag of useless material achievements that only looked good on paper with a shiny crest at the end, I want to live a life worth living.
Our generation is becoming very consumerist where it’s all about ‘me’, what ‘I’ can get out of it. Notice the thinking… ‘Me’, ‘I’, and generally ‘me’ again. My vision is it’s based around improving myself and pulling other people up as I go along.
I wish every one would catch up to this vision coz if we ( as in my generation) stop tramping on each other in our attempt to make it to the top then maybe we can improve our country, each other and we would all be happier for it.
In ending, it’s important that we look beyond that which we see in the scope life as we know it but look beyond that which is expected of us, beyond that which is normal and reach out for our visions and dreams. Its reality stories that are most astounding, imaginary normally stays just that- imaginary.
I will say it again, to those who do not carry my vision it might not make much sense but to the person who will be at the receiving end of my vision it will make the world of a difference...
Dream on dreamers don’t let anybody tell you any different!
Lots of love… Sistagirl
Ha, ha, ha that must have been the most riveting title I have ever written (Ok, maybe not!) So getting to the point, I finally decided what I want written on my tombstone when I die…
‘Here lies the sista who gave all and held back nothing. The one who lived life truly making a difference’
Quite big boots for my 18year old boots to fill… well lets just say I take it all or nothing. I don’t like being a mediocre person. So you will want to know what I mean by my words…
Why live life with nothing to show for it at the end? Why live life and only have offspring, a car, and a house to show for it at the end? Why live life purely trying to make ends meet? Why live life just for the sake of living?
I want to live life having made a difference to someone’s life, having left an impact in a community of people who will truly appreciate it. I want to live a life with no regrets. A life that when I get to heaven I will not have to search in a bag of useless material achievements that only looked good on paper with a shiny crest at the end, I want to live a life worth living.
Our generation is becoming very consumerist where it’s all about ‘me’, what ‘I’ can get out of it. Notice the thinking… ‘Me’, ‘I’, and generally ‘me’ again. My vision is it’s based around improving myself and pulling other people up as I go along.
I wish every one would catch up to this vision coz if we ( as in my generation) stop tramping on each other in our attempt to make it to the top then maybe we can improve our country, each other and we would all be happier for it.
In ending, it’s important that we look beyond that which we see in the scope life as we know it but look beyond that which is expected of us, beyond that which is normal and reach out for our visions and dreams. Its reality stories that are most astounding, imaginary normally stays just that- imaginary.
I will say it again, to those who do not carry my vision it might not make much sense but to the person who will be at the receiving end of my vision it will make the world of a difference...
Dream on dreamers don’t let anybody tell you any different!
Lots of love… Sistagirl
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Get a friend! Getta chit chat!
Get a friend! Getta chit chat!
I can think of very few things that I would rather do after a hard day at work.
Getting on that telecommunication device called a cell phone and ringing my girlz!
Who else can be that voice
- like the one you sometimes hear within yourself and you try to ignore?
Who else tells you exactly what you don’t want to hear exactly when you need to hear it
Well that’s my girls for you
We have a bond that’s thicker than blood,
And to be real to ourselves we don’t have to profess to be from any hood
We share good and bad times
And we are very much a tailor made family.
One thing I can say about friends is that they are good for you - especially in large doses
Friends should trust each other
Friends should look out for one another
Friends get you talking and when you do you get to know each other more and more
Midge, Fafie, and Bush (the homegirlz)
Then there’s KB, and Jboo (my vanilla sisters – I’m their dollop of chocolate on the side)
What more can I ask for.
Friendships are chit chat sessions that have withstood the test of time
Friendships are what we do between life and death
Friendships are for real – if they aren’t, well then, they’re not friendships
Have a friend, but most importantly be a friend!
I can think of very few things that I would rather do after a hard day at work.
Getting on that telecommunication device called a cell phone and ringing my girlz!
Who else can be that voice
- like the one you sometimes hear within yourself and you try to ignore?
Who else tells you exactly what you don’t want to hear exactly when you need to hear it
Well that’s my girls for you
We have a bond that’s thicker than blood,
And to be real to ourselves we don’t have to profess to be from any hood
We share good and bad times
And we are very much a tailor made family.
One thing I can say about friends is that they are good for you - especially in large doses
Friends should trust each other
Friends should look out for one another
Friends get you talking and when you do you get to know each other more and more
Midge, Fafie, and Bush (the homegirlz)
Then there’s KB, and Jboo (my vanilla sisters – I’m their dollop of chocolate on the side)
What more can I ask for.
Friendships are chit chat sessions that have withstood the test of time
Friendships are what we do between life and death
Friendships are for real – if they aren’t, well then, they’re not friendships
Have a friend, but most importantly be a friend!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
If it doesn't kill you
"If it doesn’t kill you it can only make you stronger"
So many times we ask God why.
Why did this have to happen to me?
Why me? Well I might just have the answer.
Quite often the whys’? we ask are because we are going through something tough and we feel that life just isn’t fair.
Well do I have news for you…
Be grateful for your hard experiences firstly cos God will never give you a burden bigger than you can handle. When we going through a hard patch we need to go through it deal with it and get over hence we arrive at the other end of the passage stronger than when we entered it.
Going through a horrible experience and getting over it can help you help someone whois not as strong as yourself get through it at a later stage.
Hardship is like a bug. It will make you sick , but then your body builds a remedy for it and then slowly you recover. After that your body will always know how to handle it where it to enter your body again.
Be encouraged in the fact that you are strong for overcoming, that hardship you overcame
,unfortunately someone else couln’t. they thought it was too hard.
I asked God why we have to go through these hard things and the answer was quite clear for me.
In me overcoming my circumstance God was Glorified. Through him we are more than conquerors. In overcoming my circumstance I add another coat of steel to armour.
Here’s my last words of encouragement for today,
Don’t look so sad, Don’t look so down
Look up and hold your chin up high.
Today you may be walking in mud trying to keep yourself together
But tomorrow you will be flying high and you will be anothers hero.
Be happy rejoice in today because tomorrow it will be no more
and yesterdays failures will be a thing of the past and lessons for the next day.
You are strong, you will survive
I did.
You will.
So many times we ask God why.
Why did this have to happen to me?
Why me? Well I might just have the answer.
Quite often the whys’? we ask are because we are going through something tough and we feel that life just isn’t fair.
Well do I have news for you…
Be grateful for your hard experiences firstly cos God will never give you a burden bigger than you can handle. When we going through a hard patch we need to go through it deal with it and get over hence we arrive at the other end of the passage stronger than when we entered it.
Going through a horrible experience and getting over it can help you help someone whois not as strong as yourself get through it at a later stage.
Hardship is like a bug. It will make you sick , but then your body builds a remedy for it and then slowly you recover. After that your body will always know how to handle it where it to enter your body again.
Be encouraged in the fact that you are strong for overcoming, that hardship you overcame
,unfortunately someone else couln’t. they thought it was too hard.
I asked God why we have to go through these hard things and the answer was quite clear for me.
In me overcoming my circumstance God was Glorified. Through him we are more than conquerors. In overcoming my circumstance I add another coat of steel to armour.
Here’s my last words of encouragement for today,
Don’t look so sad, Don’t look so down
Look up and hold your chin up high.
Today you may be walking in mud trying to keep yourself together
But tomorrow you will be flying high and you will be anothers hero.
Be happy rejoice in today because tomorrow it will be no more
and yesterdays failures will be a thing of the past and lessons for the next day.
You are strong, you will survive
I did.
You will.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
HOPEFUL
TWISTA (f/ Faith Evans) LYRICS Hope
[Verse 1 (Twista)]I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I'm on the block,
And IWish my brother woulda made bail,
So I won't have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail,
And IWish that my grandmother wasn't sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick,
And I (I wish)Wish my homies wouldn't have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper hand on us and we lose a brother,
And IWish I could go deep in a zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song,
And I (I wish)Wish I could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them hi,
And IWish my hommie Butch was still alive
And on the day of his death we had never took that ride,
And I (I wish)Wish God could protect us from the wrong
So that all the solders that were sent over seas come home
We will never break, though they devastate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day
,The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain't gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life go on!!!
Let's HOPE!
[Chorus (Faith Evans)]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use itLet it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.cause we hopeful
[Verse 2 (Twista)]I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up (I wish)
I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have 'em trippin of the joy I bring, (shiit)
I wish that we could hold hands,Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man,
And I (I wish)Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that's on dubs,
And IWish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (you feel me) (I wish)
And I hope all the kids eat,And don't nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)
I hope them mothers stain' strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone,
And I (I wish)Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly,
And IWish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again, (shit) (I wish)
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish that we could never get the blues,
Wish I could bring back the people that died,
Eddy tooI wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,
Let's HOPE
[Chorus (Faith Evans)]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.cause we hopeful
[Verse 3 (Twista)]
Wish the earth wasn't so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,
We can make it always so optimistic,
If you don't listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country never even went to war
Why can't we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King "Why can't we all just get along",
Or we can find a better way to shop and please,
And IHope we find a better way to cop a keys,
And IWish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,
You can be wrong if it's you doubting,
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,
And only the heavenly father and ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!!
And let's HOPE
[Chorus (Faith Evans) X2]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
cause we hopeful
[Verse 1 (Twista)]I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I'm on the block,
And IWish my brother woulda made bail,
So I won't have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail,
And IWish that my grandmother wasn't sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick,
And I (I wish)Wish my homies wouldn't have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper hand on us and we lose a brother,
And IWish I could go deep in a zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song,
And I (I wish)Wish I could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them hi,
And IWish my hommie Butch was still alive
And on the day of his death we had never took that ride,
And I (I wish)Wish God could protect us from the wrong
So that all the solders that were sent over seas come home
We will never break, though they devastate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day
,The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain't gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life go on!!!
Let's HOPE!
[Chorus (Faith Evans)]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use itLet it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.cause we hopeful
[Verse 2 (Twista)]I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up (I wish)
I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have 'em trippin of the joy I bring, (shiit)
I wish that we could hold hands,Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man,
And I (I wish)Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that's on dubs,
And IWish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (you feel me) (I wish)
And I hope all the kids eat,And don't nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)
I hope them mothers stain' strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone,
And I (I wish)Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly,
And IWish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again, (shit) (I wish)
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish that we could never get the blues,
Wish I could bring back the people that died,
Eddy tooI wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,
Let's HOPE
[Chorus (Faith Evans)]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.cause we hopeful
[Verse 3 (Twista)]
Wish the earth wasn't so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,
We can make it always so optimistic,
If you don't listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country never even went to war
Why can't we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King "Why can't we all just get along",
Or we can find a better way to shop and please,
And IHope we find a better way to cop a keys,
And IWish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,
You can be wrong if it's you doubting,
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,
And only the heavenly father and ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!!
And let's HOPE
[Chorus (Faith Evans) X2]
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
cause we hopeful
Monday, February 19, 2007
Women of virtue
This is for all those females I know who keep on holding the fort
besides all odds...be strong,
Find your identity in who you are not in your circumstance
Find your identity in who God has designed you to be...
Woman Of Virtue
She is a woman of virtue and a daughter of eve,
She has been through lifes ridicule, barely even finished school
She has been through suppression – She has felt depression
She is a daughter of eve, the ideal woman
A woman of today and tomorrow
Who has been through yesterday
Oh hail the woman who bore your children-
Your children who hold the future
Made from mans side to be close to him
That one rib that became the backbone of all ages
That constant figure of strength
Oh hail the women who gathered her tears, and yours
And provided a spring of life
This woman that is in her, her, her, me and you.
Zamezinhle ‘2007
besides all odds...be strong,
Find your identity in who you are not in your circumstance
Find your identity in who God has designed you to be...
Woman Of Virtue
She is a woman of virtue and a daughter of eve,
She has been through lifes ridicule, barely even finished school
She has been through suppression – She has felt depression
She is a daughter of eve, the ideal woman
A woman of today and tomorrow
Who has been through yesterday
Oh hail the woman who bore your children-
Your children who hold the future
Made from mans side to be close to him
That one rib that became the backbone of all ages
That constant figure of strength
Oh hail the women who gathered her tears, and yours
And provided a spring of life
This woman that is in her, her, her, me and you.
Zamezinhle ‘2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Memories of Gogo
This letter is for my gran ma…
Gogo if there is internet in heaven this is for you…
Gogo,
I see you sitting there, that dark brown image in the heavens,
Your face radiant with peaceful glory.
How hard you toiled whilst still on this earth
How big was your hart to carry us all
How deep were your wrinkles so full of wisdom
How big was your smile full of promises
How soft was your voice full of encouragement
How strong your hands that disciplined me into who I am
Remember TV bars when they were still red and blue
Remember the TV you broke with your shoe
Remember jelly tots -With sugar on top
Remember me not wanting the hat for my picture – nor did I wear a top
Remember you singing me lullaby’s – out of tune oh I did not care
Remember my embarrassing moments – oh with your church friends you had to share
I remember…
Sometimes I wish you were still here
Sometimes I can smell your scent on my jersey
Sometimes I can see you in the reflection in my mirror
Sometimes you are in my dreams
Things have happened since you have gone
Things have happened that make me wish you were still here
You always told me to be a strong woman
You forgot o tell me womanhood was so hard,
uZamezihnle has had to grow into a woman not wholly by choice
I have tried my hardest to be the woman of your vision, the woman with her voice
Maybe I need to settle to be the girl of my dreams - for now anyway
Maybe I can put womanhood away for a little longer…
There’s this picture of you on my desk
You are wearing your uniform… (Remember red marching soldiers on their way to church)
I see in your eyes a world of experiences, not all of them easy
I see in your brow sweat, sweat that I saw on mine yesterday
Maybe we are not all that different.
Gogo you were a woman of overcoming
Well maybe I see me in you
For all your love I will be the woman you had in your vision I would be
The gift you gave of Zamezinhle ( try my beauty, try more beautiful things)
Hold on tight Gogo.
The heavens are about to shake with the conviction in my heart
The world has never seen this before …
Thank you for the vision that will lead me straight home
Thank you for the love you gave me…
Lalakhahle Ngwane ‘lihle ( rest in peace beautiful Ngwane)
In my memories you will always be…
‘Zamezinhle 2007’
Gogo if there is internet in heaven this is for you…
Gogo,
I see you sitting there, that dark brown image in the heavens,
Your face radiant with peaceful glory.
How hard you toiled whilst still on this earth
How big was your hart to carry us all
How deep were your wrinkles so full of wisdom
How big was your smile full of promises
How soft was your voice full of encouragement
How strong your hands that disciplined me into who I am
Remember TV bars when they were still red and blue
Remember the TV you broke with your shoe
Remember jelly tots -With sugar on top
Remember me not wanting the hat for my picture – nor did I wear a top
Remember you singing me lullaby’s – out of tune oh I did not care
Remember my embarrassing moments – oh with your church friends you had to share
I remember…
Sometimes I wish you were still here
Sometimes I can smell your scent on my jersey
Sometimes I can see you in the reflection in my mirror
Sometimes you are in my dreams
Things have happened since you have gone
Things have happened that make me wish you were still here
You always told me to be a strong woman
You forgot o tell me womanhood was so hard,
uZamezihnle has had to grow into a woman not wholly by choice
I have tried my hardest to be the woman of your vision, the woman with her voice
Maybe I need to settle to be the girl of my dreams - for now anyway
Maybe I can put womanhood away for a little longer…
There’s this picture of you on my desk
You are wearing your uniform… (Remember red marching soldiers on their way to church)
I see in your eyes a world of experiences, not all of them easy
I see in your brow sweat, sweat that I saw on mine yesterday
Maybe we are not all that different.
Gogo you were a woman of overcoming
Well maybe I see me in you
For all your love I will be the woman you had in your vision I would be
The gift you gave of Zamezinhle ( try my beauty, try more beautiful things)
Hold on tight Gogo.
The heavens are about to shake with the conviction in my heart
The world has never seen this before …
Thank you for the vision that will lead me straight home
Thank you for the love you gave me…
Lalakhahle Ngwane ‘lihle ( rest in peace beautiful Ngwane)
In my memories you will always be…
‘Zamezinhle 2007’
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Sole Sista ( Soul Sista)
Sole Sista (vol 2)
Ebony cream they say of her skin
Pearly white they say of her teeth
A ray of sunshine they say of her smile
A crystal clear fountain they say of her laughter
Yet what say they of her inner most treasuries
Those catacombs nested deep near her heart?
They see not the crimson blood neatly covered wound inflicted at close range
They see not the wide expanse of endless galaxies in her eyes that sparkle – but sparkle of tears
They see not the tattered torn history book inside the gold casket
An hour glass they say of figure
Frivolous they say of her mischievousness
Petite they say of her sneeze
Warm they say of her embrace
Yet what say they of her inner most treasuries
Those mysteries buried in hidden labyrinths?
Those tears are of pain not gain
Those ringing bells are of goodbye not hello
Those rays of sunshine are heavens glory peeping through wanting a glimpse, feeling pity for…
Oh they say she’s a Soul Sista!
Viva a la Diva
Oh she’s a Sole Sista alright
Marilyn Monroe was a Diva too…
Sole Sista…
'Zamezinhle 2007'
Ebony cream they say of her skin
Pearly white they say of her teeth
A ray of sunshine they say of her smile
A crystal clear fountain they say of her laughter
Yet what say they of her inner most treasuries
Those catacombs nested deep near her heart?
They see not the crimson blood neatly covered wound inflicted at close range
They see not the wide expanse of endless galaxies in her eyes that sparkle – but sparkle of tears
They see not the tattered torn history book inside the gold casket
An hour glass they say of figure
Frivolous they say of her mischievousness
Petite they say of her sneeze
Warm they say of her embrace
Yet what say they of her inner most treasuries
Those mysteries buried in hidden labyrinths?
Those tears are of pain not gain
Those ringing bells are of goodbye not hello
Those rays of sunshine are heavens glory peeping through wanting a glimpse, feeling pity for…
Oh they say she’s a Soul Sista!
Viva a la Diva
Oh she’s a Sole Sista alright
Marilyn Monroe was a Diva too…
Sole Sista…
'Zamezinhle 2007'
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Foolish Love
Love can be a real sucker sometimes...
Why is it that we love that one thing that we can't have,
That one thing we love well doesn't return it back..
love is a two way... you give - you take.
This song says it all when you have had enough...
It at this point where your heart is hurting so bad
and your head knows its time to let go...
Easier said than done, when you have reached the point of no return...
These are my last thoughts on this subject for now... thank you Murder Inc for saying it so well...
MURDER INC - FOOLISH
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Baby I don't know why ya treatin me so bad
You said you love me, no one above me
And I was all you had
And though my heart is beating for ya
I can't stop crying
I don't know how
I allow you to treat me this way and still i stay
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Baby I don't know why ya wanna do me wrong
See when I'm home, I'm all alone
And you were always gone
And boy, you know I really love you
I can't deny
I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears
after all these years
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Oohhhhh
I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad
what love will make you do
all the things that we accept
be the things that we regret
too all of my ladies (ladies) feel me
c'mon sing wit me
See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak cause I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same that
You ain't never gonna change
(never gonna change, never gonna change)
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
Butm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Baby why you hurt me leave me and desert me
Boy I gave you all my heart
And all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window
Knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags
This something always hold me back.
Why is it that we love that one thing that we can't have,
That one thing we love well doesn't return it back..
love is a two way... you give - you take.
This song says it all when you have had enough...
It at this point where your heart is hurting so bad
and your head knows its time to let go...
Easier said than done, when you have reached the point of no return...
These are my last thoughts on this subject for now... thank you Murder Inc for saying it so well...
MURDER INC - FOOLISH
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Baby I don't know why ya treatin me so bad
You said you love me, no one above me
And I was all you had
And though my heart is beating for ya
I can't stop crying
I don't know how
I allow you to treat me this way and still i stay
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Baby I don't know why ya wanna do me wrong
See when I'm home, I'm all alone
And you were always gone
And boy, you know I really love you
I can't deny
I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears
after all these years
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Oohhhhh
I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad
what love will make you do
all the things that we accept
be the things that we regret
too all of my ladies (ladies) feel me
c'mon sing wit me
See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak cause I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same that
You ain't never gonna change
(never gonna change, never gonna change)
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
Butm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Baby why you hurt me leave me and desert me
Boy I gave you all my heart
And all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window
Knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags
This something always hold me back.
My Favourite
Here is a poem written by some called Connie...
I love it...
Be inspired!
My Favorite Valentine
Once I had a Valentine that I loved so,
It said, "I love you and want you to know...Mine is a love that this world can't define,
I'd never leave you if you would be mine.
"Now I have a Valentine that I love more,
God said, "I love you,you're worth dying for...
Mine is a love that the world can't define,
I'll never leave you...now that you're Mine.
"--Connie".
"..He hath said,I will never leave thee,nor forsake thee."
(Hebrews 13:5b, KJV)
I love it...
Be inspired!
My Favorite Valentine
Once I had a Valentine that I loved so,
It said, "I love you and want you to know...Mine is a love that this world can't define,
I'd never leave you if you would be mine.
"Now I have a Valentine that I love more,
God said, "I love you,you're worth dying for...
Mine is a love that the world can't define,
I'll never leave you...now that you're Mine.
"--Connie".
"..He hath said,I will never leave thee,nor forsake thee."
(Hebrews 13:5b, KJV)
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Will I be my Valentine?
Will I be my Valentine?
Of course it Valentines Day tomorrow…
I am a romantic of note…. (Daniel Steel, Lori Wick, Karen Kingsbury have nothing on me)
It would help were I paired up with someone who would reap the fruits of what would be delicious food and good company, but no I will be at home compiling a study regime for my degree cos I finally got my books today. So while the rest of the world has smoochy valentines dinners gazing longingly into their beloved’ eyes I will be gracing my hand over lightly glossed text books, and tasting only the fruit of my hard spent time when I pass at the end of the year.
But fear not - I am not bitter, my time will come and then the world will have competition. For now I will study hard, enjoy getting to know with myself and so when I finally meet my prince charming we will have no ‘do you think I am fat” only love, love and love.
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Love Me..
Of course it Valentines Day tomorrow…
I am a romantic of note…. (Daniel Steel, Lori Wick, Karen Kingsbury have nothing on me)
It would help were I paired up with someone who would reap the fruits of what would be delicious food and good company, but no I will be at home compiling a study regime for my degree cos I finally got my books today. So while the rest of the world has smoochy valentines dinners gazing longingly into their beloved’ eyes I will be gracing my hand over lightly glossed text books, and tasting only the fruit of my hard spent time when I pass at the end of the year.
But fear not - I am not bitter, my time will come and then the world will have competition. For now I will study hard, enjoy getting to know with myself and so when I finally meet my prince charming we will have no ‘do you think I am fat” only love, love and love.
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Love Me..
Friday, February 9, 2007
The song playing; If tomorrow never comes...
The song playing is – If tomorrow never comes
Death isn’t a very pretty subject…
But it’s a very definite part of life and living.
My uncle passed away last week Thursday and we are having his funeral tomorrow, it’s going to be hard on everybody at the funeral because not only will he be greatly missed but he was a single parent with a 6 year old son as well.
But his passing away has got me thinking if where I to die today would I be ready?
Um well… if I died right now I would have no problem because I know that I will be going to heaven. No doubt! but something makes me a bit uneasy still about the thought of dying today, I mean there are so many things I want to do before I die… I would like to have been married, and have a couple of kids, have established a fruitful business and after I have done something big for my family – lets not forget all Gods’ work that I still have in my heart to do.
Its scary to think that if I die today there are so many things I haven’t said and done that are important … today I am going to go to brotha X and tell him what I feel about brotha X and sista X being together… I am going to tell my two sisters how much I love them and I am going to draw out all my dreams in a book called ‘my book of possibilities’ and enjoy it as I start ticking the steps off as I move up. I want to live a life of no regrets cos, frankly life is too short! I am a dreamer of note, but what is the point of my existence if not to bring those dreams into fruition?
My lesson today is quite simple. Dream big, aim high – and then go out and do it!
There’s a song that goes (in English) ‘the treasures of this world will all stay in the grave’, “Amagugu alelizwe ayosale’matuneni!” And then there’s this - one the famous; ‘the great dreams of this world all lie nine feet under” – now I don’t want that for my dreams…
So I am off to make sure that my dreams come alive, although that means been faithful with the little I have now, for now that means that comforting the family by being there at the funeral tomorrow…
So enjoy the weekend, don’t forget to say and do what you have to..
Lotsa love
Me
Death isn’t a very pretty subject…
But it’s a very definite part of life and living.
My uncle passed away last week Thursday and we are having his funeral tomorrow, it’s going to be hard on everybody at the funeral because not only will he be greatly missed but he was a single parent with a 6 year old son as well.
But his passing away has got me thinking if where I to die today would I be ready?
Um well… if I died right now I would have no problem because I know that I will be going to heaven. No doubt! but something makes me a bit uneasy still about the thought of dying today, I mean there are so many things I want to do before I die… I would like to have been married, and have a couple of kids, have established a fruitful business and after I have done something big for my family – lets not forget all Gods’ work that I still have in my heart to do.
Its scary to think that if I die today there are so many things I haven’t said and done that are important … today I am going to go to brotha X and tell him what I feel about brotha X and sista X being together… I am going to tell my two sisters how much I love them and I am going to draw out all my dreams in a book called ‘my book of possibilities’ and enjoy it as I start ticking the steps off as I move up. I want to live a life of no regrets cos, frankly life is too short! I am a dreamer of note, but what is the point of my existence if not to bring those dreams into fruition?
My lesson today is quite simple. Dream big, aim high – and then go out and do it!
There’s a song that goes (in English) ‘the treasures of this world will all stay in the grave’, “Amagugu alelizwe ayosale’matuneni!” And then there’s this - one the famous; ‘the great dreams of this world all lie nine feet under” – now I don’t want that for my dreams…
So I am off to make sure that my dreams come alive, although that means been faithful with the little I have now, for now that means that comforting the family by being there at the funeral tomorrow…
So enjoy the weekend, don’t forget to say and do what you have to..
Lotsa love
Me
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Date-able?
Someone asked me today about my stance on dating… (Hmm hmmm…)
Well it’s not all that it plays out to be in the movies that’s for sure, its a lot more hard work than just roses and late night walks.
I just started reading a book called ‘I Kissed dating goodbye’ by Joshua Harris… After you hack through your preconceptions based on the title it is an excellent read on dating guidelines, but more importantly how ready are you to date?
I think (learning from my one experience and lots of other peoples’ as well) that dating should be a preparation for marriage, whats the point of knowing a member of the opposite sex ‘intimately’ (if I can call it that ) if you don’t want to spend forever with them.
Believe me when you are dating some one you ( should) get to know them really well, you get to know what they like and don’t like, they get to know you too. They share a part of themselves that they don’t share with other people; like their dreams, their thoughts, their feelings and visa versa. Now when this happens you are more than just friends the level above friendship – courtship.
You revel yourself over time to the other person. Now I call this ‘intimate’ because it’s just between the two of you. The ‘I love you’ and ‘ I miss you’ all this you don’t share with the rest of the world. Yes the rest of the world may see the fruits of your relationship such as the smiles, holding hands, etc, but they are not privy to your deeper connection.
Now imagine if you dated casually ( or whatever its called lately) you would be giving a piece of your heart to all those people who you date. Presuming you date 10 people before you get married that’s your heart minus 10 pieces and who knows how big the chunks where. What will you have to offer to your husband (or wife), a ‘hand-me-downs’ heart? Even worse you sleep with all the guys (or girls) you date, that is not much to give your partner.
What you share with you partner should be special, it should be intimate, mostly for me it needs to be God inspired. I want my husband to taste nothing the world has tasted from me. No one deserves the love and affection and all sorts that is instore for him.
Leslie Ludy gave this imagery in her book ‘Authentic Beauty’; (it paraphrased)
‘Imagine on your wedding night you have a beautiful day and then you and your loved one cross the threshold of your honeymoon suit…it’s a candle lit sensation with warm lights hovering all over, as your beloved puts you down you start smelling trash cans, and when you look at the corner of the room… are all your old flames calling your name, demanding a place in your special night cause well they have the same exposure to you as the person you just married.’ You see what should have been a beautiful night was spoiled by the stench and ‘presence’ of other people.
So for me, I am going to wait for what the world calls Mr. Right. I am not going to date a guy just for fun, or to pass time.
And for those who have crossed the line in their relationships with the opposite sex, there’s my favorite – New beginnings!
Make a conscious decision to stop the philandering, take a break from close relationships with the opposite for a while and take time out to learn about yourself more. I have noticed quite a lot with people I know that date to find that actually they need to break up with the person because they feel like they have changed! Well if they knew themselves before they got into the relationship they would not have had that problem now would they!
Dating is not a bad thing. But its been misused as a from of entertainment, and boredom killer. Lets get real, so many times when those relationships end someone gets hurt!
I want tot be a special gift for my husband. I want to be able to give him all the loving that he needs. No broken heart and definitely no rubbish lying around.
So lets us singletons take this time (while we have it!) to get to know ourselves. Mature ourselves and nuture our inner beauty. Then when if radiates outwords we wont have to search for the perfect one anyway, they will be drawn to the beauty that radiate from the inside out!
Well it’s not all that it plays out to be in the movies that’s for sure, its a lot more hard work than just roses and late night walks.
I just started reading a book called ‘I Kissed dating goodbye’ by Joshua Harris… After you hack through your preconceptions based on the title it is an excellent read on dating guidelines, but more importantly how ready are you to date?
I think (learning from my one experience and lots of other peoples’ as well) that dating should be a preparation for marriage, whats the point of knowing a member of the opposite sex ‘intimately’ (if I can call it that ) if you don’t want to spend forever with them.
Believe me when you are dating some one you ( should) get to know them really well, you get to know what they like and don’t like, they get to know you too. They share a part of themselves that they don’t share with other people; like their dreams, their thoughts, their feelings and visa versa. Now when this happens you are more than just friends the level above friendship – courtship.
You revel yourself over time to the other person. Now I call this ‘intimate’ because it’s just between the two of you. The ‘I love you’ and ‘ I miss you’ all this you don’t share with the rest of the world. Yes the rest of the world may see the fruits of your relationship such as the smiles, holding hands, etc, but they are not privy to your deeper connection.
Now imagine if you dated casually ( or whatever its called lately) you would be giving a piece of your heart to all those people who you date. Presuming you date 10 people before you get married that’s your heart minus 10 pieces and who knows how big the chunks where. What will you have to offer to your husband (or wife), a ‘hand-me-downs’ heart? Even worse you sleep with all the guys (or girls) you date, that is not much to give your partner.
What you share with you partner should be special, it should be intimate, mostly for me it needs to be God inspired. I want my husband to taste nothing the world has tasted from me. No one deserves the love and affection and all sorts that is instore for him.
Leslie Ludy gave this imagery in her book ‘Authentic Beauty’; (it paraphrased)
‘Imagine on your wedding night you have a beautiful day and then you and your loved one cross the threshold of your honeymoon suit…it’s a candle lit sensation with warm lights hovering all over, as your beloved puts you down you start smelling trash cans, and when you look at the corner of the room… are all your old flames calling your name, demanding a place in your special night cause well they have the same exposure to you as the person you just married.’ You see what should have been a beautiful night was spoiled by the stench and ‘presence’ of other people.
So for me, I am going to wait for what the world calls Mr. Right. I am not going to date a guy just for fun, or to pass time.
And for those who have crossed the line in their relationships with the opposite sex, there’s my favorite – New beginnings!
Make a conscious decision to stop the philandering, take a break from close relationships with the opposite for a while and take time out to learn about yourself more. I have noticed quite a lot with people I know that date to find that actually they need to break up with the person because they feel like they have changed! Well if they knew themselves before they got into the relationship they would not have had that problem now would they!
Dating is not a bad thing. But its been misused as a from of entertainment, and boredom killer. Lets get real, so many times when those relationships end someone gets hurt!
I want tot be a special gift for my husband. I want to be able to give him all the loving that he needs. No broken heart and definitely no rubbish lying around.
So lets us singletons take this time (while we have it!) to get to know ourselves. Mature ourselves and nuture our inner beauty. Then when if radiates outwords we wont have to search for the perfect one anyway, they will be drawn to the beauty that radiate from the inside out!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Winds of change
I love new beginnings!!!
Last night I chopped off my long braids and my long-ish hair, after it was chopped off there was no going back!
It felt quite weird, cos now there was no hair at all! I can now feel the breeze wisp lightly over my head.
I am all for change. Good change is very welcome by me, other change - well does one have a choice?
“The winds of change sing of songs of promise for a brighter tomorrow.
The winds of change carry dreams forward, slowly and steady
Woe is me and woe is you were the wind to stay still
Dreams would be still, promises could not be carried to reach us.
Love change and embrace her for she is a mover,
She takes you up although it might mean you have to stretch
Change, change, ChAnGe…
Always holds a promise for tomorrow...
For today…
For now... "
It might take a while till I get used to my new hairstyle, but I am loving it.
Next week I might dye it ginger or blonde, who knows, for now my eye is set on achieving what I have set out for today… tomorrow will come … tomorrow.
Last night I chopped off my long braids and my long-ish hair, after it was chopped off there was no going back!
It felt quite weird, cos now there was no hair at all! I can now feel the breeze wisp lightly over my head.
I am all for change. Good change is very welcome by me, other change - well does one have a choice?
“The winds of change sing of songs of promise for a brighter tomorrow.
The winds of change carry dreams forward, slowly and steady
Woe is me and woe is you were the wind to stay still
Dreams would be still, promises could not be carried to reach us.
Love change and embrace her for she is a mover,
She takes you up although it might mean you have to stretch
Change, change, ChAnGe…
Always holds a promise for tomorrow...
For today…
For now... "
It might take a while till I get used to my new hairstyle, but I am loving it.
Next week I might dye it ginger or blonde, who knows, for now my eye is set on achieving what I have set out for today… tomorrow will come … tomorrow.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Monday!
Monday!
What is it about Monday that makes people miserable?
It’s all a mind thing I tell you…
I really enjoy Mondays’ – It’s a fresh start to a new week, another opportunity to make a good impression, a fresh page to doodle sweet memories, another chance to make a difference!
Ok so maybe it’s no match to a fantastic weekend, but one can’t live in play mode forever!
I love living a God inspired life cos I never know what to expect outside of today, I may make plans till forever but Gods plan always come first and you know what? - Its always a good thing.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I love the fact that no matter what I am going through, I am not alone, and that actually whatever I go through I can handle- cos he will never give me a load I can’t manage.
People ask me quite often why I always seem happy; they seem to think that I never have issues - believe you me, I have experienced more than most people my age! BUT its cos my existence doesn’t depend on me, God orchestrates every move, at the end no matter what happens as long as I don’t step outside of his plan I always know I am safe. Now don’t get me wrong that doesn’t mean that you wont go through hard times – it definitely isn’t a surefire way to have it easy but, I know that I am guaranteed coverage from the most priceless tracking body in our galaxy, the most fastest angelic-911 the fastest mayday response with immediate (anywhere)–side assistance. I am happy where I am. I am living in this world but not of world!
I just love that song;
“I get knocked down but get up again and nothing gonna keep me down”
So Monday or no Monday;
I am going to make the best of today, cos tomorrow may not be given to me…
What is it about Monday that makes people miserable?
It’s all a mind thing I tell you…
I really enjoy Mondays’ – It’s a fresh start to a new week, another opportunity to make a good impression, a fresh page to doodle sweet memories, another chance to make a difference!
Ok so maybe it’s no match to a fantastic weekend, but one can’t live in play mode forever!
I love living a God inspired life cos I never know what to expect outside of today, I may make plans till forever but Gods plan always come first and you know what? - Its always a good thing.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I love the fact that no matter what I am going through, I am not alone, and that actually whatever I go through I can handle- cos he will never give me a load I can’t manage.
People ask me quite often why I always seem happy; they seem to think that I never have issues - believe you me, I have experienced more than most people my age! BUT its cos my existence doesn’t depend on me, God orchestrates every move, at the end no matter what happens as long as I don’t step outside of his plan I always know I am safe. Now don’t get me wrong that doesn’t mean that you wont go through hard times – it definitely isn’t a surefire way to have it easy but, I know that I am guaranteed coverage from the most priceless tracking body in our galaxy, the most fastest angelic-911 the fastest mayday response with immediate (anywhere)–side assistance. I am happy where I am. I am living in this world but not of world!
I just love that song;
“I get knocked down but get up again and nothing gonna keep me down”
So Monday or no Monday;
I am going to make the best of today, cos tomorrow may not be given to me…
Who am I?
"I am who I say I, I will be who I need to be!"
I am me, I am real, I am who I need to be (for today!)
That person I need to be is growing changing to be more like my king every day.
Every day there’s another memory that enters the puzzle –
when complete will be called my life.
I aspire to be the princess that God created me to be
The diva with a destiny
The soul sista with a big dream
The dreamer with a vision
I am on a mission
I know not what tomorrow holds for me
But this I do –
Whatever it is
I should be ready…
I need to be, Let me be!"
I am me, I am real, I am who I need to be (for today!)
That person I need to be is growing changing to be more like my king every day.
Every day there’s another memory that enters the puzzle –
when complete will be called my life.
I aspire to be the princess that God created me to be
The diva with a destiny
The soul sista with a big dream
The dreamer with a vision
I am on a mission
I know not what tomorrow holds for me
But this I do –
Whatever it is
I should be ready…
"I am who I say I am I will be who
I need to be, Let me be!"
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