Memories of Gogo

This letter is for my gran ma…
Gogo if there is internet in heaven this is for you…

Gogo,
I see you sitting there, that dark brown image in the heavens,
Your face radiant with peaceful glory.

How hard you toiled whilst still on this earth
How big was your hart to carry us all
How deep were your wrinkles so full of wisdom
How big was your smile full of promises
How soft was your voice full of encouragement
How strong your hands that disciplined me into who I am

Remember TV bars when they were still red and blue
Remember the TV you broke with your shoe
Remember jelly tots -With sugar on top
Remember me not wanting the hat for my picture – nor did I wear a top
Remember you singing me lullaby’s – out of tune oh I did not care
Remember my embarrassing moments – oh with your church friends you had to share
I remember…

Sometimes I wish you were still here
Sometimes I can smell your scent on my jersey
Sometimes I can see you in the reflection in my mirror
Sometimes you are in my dreams

Things have happened since you have gone
Things have happened that make me wish you were still here

You always told me to be a strong woman
You forgot o tell me womanhood was so hard,
uZamezihnle has had to grow into a woman not wholly by choice
I have tried my hardest to be the woman of your vision, the woman with her voice
Maybe I need to settle to be the girl of my dreams - for now anyway
Maybe I can put womanhood away for a little longer…

There’s this picture of you on my desk
You are wearing your uniform… (Remember red marching soldiers on their way to church)
I see in your eyes a world of experiences, not all of them easy
I see in your brow sweat, sweat that I saw on mine yesterday
Maybe we are not all that different.
Gogo you were a woman of overcoming
Well maybe I see me in you

For all your love I will be the woman you had in your vision I would be
The gift you gave of Zamezinhle ( try my beauty, try more beautiful things)
Hold on tight Gogo.
The heavens are about to shake with the conviction in my heart
The world has never seen this before …
Thank you for the vision that will lead me straight home
Thank you for the love you gave me…
Lalakhahle Ngwane ‘lihle ( rest in peace beautiful Ngwane)
In my memories you will always be…

‘Zamezinhle 2007’