Someone asked me today about my stance on dating… (Hmm hmmm…)
Well it’s not all that it plays out to be in the movies that’s for sure, its a lot more hard work than just roses and late night walks.
I just started reading a book called ‘I Kissed dating goodbye’ by Joshua Harris… After you hack through your preconceptions based on the title it is an excellent read on dating guidelines, but more importantly how ready are you to date?
I think (learning from my one experience and lots of other peoples’ as well) that dating should be a preparation for marriage, whats the point of knowing a member of the opposite sex ‘intimately’ (if I can call it that ) if you don’t want to spend forever with them.
Believe me when you are dating some one you ( should) get to know them really well, you get to know what they like and don’t like, they get to know you too. They share a part of themselves that they don’t share with other people; like their dreams, their thoughts, their feelings and visa versa. Now when this happens you are more than just friends the level above friendship – courtship.
You revel yourself over time to the other person. Now I call this ‘intimate’ because it’s just between the two of you. The ‘I love you’ and ‘ I miss you’ all this you don’t share with the rest of the world. Yes the rest of the world may see the fruits of your relationship such as the smiles, holding hands, etc, but they are not privy to your deeper connection.
Now imagine if you dated casually ( or whatever its called lately) you would be giving a piece of your heart to all those people who you date. Presuming you date 10 people before you get married that’s your heart minus 10 pieces and who knows how big the chunks where. What will you have to offer to your husband (or wife), a ‘hand-me-downs’ heart? Even worse you sleep with all the guys (or girls) you date, that is not much to give your partner.
What you share with you partner should be special, it should be intimate, mostly for me it needs to be God inspired. I want my husband to taste nothing the world has tasted from me. No one deserves the love and affection and all sorts that is instore for him.
Leslie Ludy gave this imagery in her book ‘Authentic Beauty’; (it paraphrased)
‘Imagine on your wedding night you have a beautiful day and then you and your loved one cross the threshold of your honeymoon suit…it’s a candle lit sensation with warm lights hovering all over, as your beloved puts you down you start smelling trash cans, and when you look at the corner of the room… are all your old flames calling your name, demanding a place in your special night cause well they have the same exposure to you as the person you just married.’ You see what should have been a beautiful night was spoiled by the stench and ‘presence’ of other people.
So for me, I am going to wait for what the world calls Mr. Right. I am not going to date a guy just for fun, or to pass time.
And for those who have crossed the line in their relationships with the opposite sex, there’s my favorite – New beginnings!
Make a conscious decision to stop the philandering, take a break from close relationships with the opposite for a while and take time out to learn about yourself more. I have noticed quite a lot with people I know that date to find that actually they need to break up with the person because they feel like they have changed! Well if they knew themselves before they got into the relationship they would not have had that problem now would they!
Dating is not a bad thing. But its been misused as a from of entertainment, and boredom killer. Lets get real, so many times when those relationships end someone gets hurt!
I want tot be a special gift for my husband. I want to be able to give him all the loving that he needs. No broken heart and definitely no rubbish lying around.
So lets us singletons take this time (while we have it!) to get to know ourselves. Mature ourselves and nuture our inner beauty. Then when if radiates outwords we wont have to search for the perfect one anyway, they will be drawn to the beauty that radiate from the inside out!
Well it’s not all that it plays out to be in the movies that’s for sure, its a lot more hard work than just roses and late night walks.
I just started reading a book called ‘I Kissed dating goodbye’ by Joshua Harris… After you hack through your preconceptions based on the title it is an excellent read on dating guidelines, but more importantly how ready are you to date?
I think (learning from my one experience and lots of other peoples’ as well) that dating should be a preparation for marriage, whats the point of knowing a member of the opposite sex ‘intimately’ (if I can call it that ) if you don’t want to spend forever with them.
Believe me when you are dating some one you ( should) get to know them really well, you get to know what they like and don’t like, they get to know you too. They share a part of themselves that they don’t share with other people; like their dreams, their thoughts, their feelings and visa versa. Now when this happens you are more than just friends the level above friendship – courtship.
You revel yourself over time to the other person. Now I call this ‘intimate’ because it’s just between the two of you. The ‘I love you’ and ‘ I miss you’ all this you don’t share with the rest of the world. Yes the rest of the world may see the fruits of your relationship such as the smiles, holding hands, etc, but they are not privy to your deeper connection.
Now imagine if you dated casually ( or whatever its called lately) you would be giving a piece of your heart to all those people who you date. Presuming you date 10 people before you get married that’s your heart minus 10 pieces and who knows how big the chunks where. What will you have to offer to your husband (or wife), a ‘hand-me-downs’ heart? Even worse you sleep with all the guys (or girls) you date, that is not much to give your partner.
What you share with you partner should be special, it should be intimate, mostly for me it needs to be God inspired. I want my husband to taste nothing the world has tasted from me. No one deserves the love and affection and all sorts that is instore for him.
Leslie Ludy gave this imagery in her book ‘Authentic Beauty’; (it paraphrased)
‘Imagine on your wedding night you have a beautiful day and then you and your loved one cross the threshold of your honeymoon suit…it’s a candle lit sensation with warm lights hovering all over, as your beloved puts you down you start smelling trash cans, and when you look at the corner of the room… are all your old flames calling your name, demanding a place in your special night cause well they have the same exposure to you as the person you just married.’ You see what should have been a beautiful night was spoiled by the stench and ‘presence’ of other people.
So for me, I am going to wait for what the world calls Mr. Right. I am not going to date a guy just for fun, or to pass time.
And for those who have crossed the line in their relationships with the opposite sex, there’s my favorite – New beginnings!
Make a conscious decision to stop the philandering, take a break from close relationships with the opposite for a while and take time out to learn about yourself more. I have noticed quite a lot with people I know that date to find that actually they need to break up with the person because they feel like they have changed! Well if they knew themselves before they got into the relationship they would not have had that problem now would they!
Dating is not a bad thing. But its been misused as a from of entertainment, and boredom killer. Lets get real, so many times when those relationships end someone gets hurt!
I want tot be a special gift for my husband. I want to be able to give him all the loving that he needs. No broken heart and definitely no rubbish lying around.
So lets us singletons take this time (while we have it!) to get to know ourselves. Mature ourselves and nuture our inner beauty. Then when if radiates outwords we wont have to search for the perfect one anyway, they will be drawn to the beauty that radiate from the inside out!
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