Here is the beauty of poetry once again, that which is said is not always what is. but that which is said is also - just that!
Mind Games #1: BREATHE
Hello? Hello?
Any body there?
What is this place?
Of shattered hope?
Of broken hearts?
It’s so cold here, and it stinks of fear
Hello? Hello?
Anybody here?
Why am I here?
Where is my home?
Scattered memories, and dusty smiles
To this place I sure don’t belong!
Can’t breathe!
Where are the windows here?
Where is the exit here?
This is not claustrophobic fun…
Come on! Someone
Where is the sun?
I am choking, choking
This place is so familiar…
NO!
This place is so strange…
In the dusty labyrinth of my body, I am trapped; life doesn’t live here any more,
I need to BREATHE!
Zamezinhle'07
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Just read!
Speak Out!
I know I haven’t written in a week. But I didn’t want to subject you to something written out of need to write it had to be for a reason. Today I woke up and I had a very good reason to write. I have had a lot of things on my mind lately…..
(what’s new! )
So often we know what we want in life. We know where we want to go and we think we know how we are going to get there. So in my thinking lately I realised that I actually don’t have myself psyched out to the core. There is a lot about myself I am actually still trying to discover. Not that I am insecure or anything, Its just that there is a lot about myself that I am learning. I unconsciously realised this when I first started putting my thoughts to paper. Read my profile “Who am I”.
I am constantly growing and changing everyday – for the better. Everyday I go to sleep and I have learnt something new from my experiences gone by. Lately I have taken on more responsibility of things that happen in my life. I decided I don’t want to be the damsel who everything bad in life happened to in life and never quite got over it. I cant blame the world for all the rubbish it has thrown my way, ( I cant dwell on it forever and not make anything of my self because of it. Then it would have ‘power’ over me), just like I can’t blame anyone for some of the wrong decisions I have made in the past. I don’t regret any relationships- I have only learnt from them. I have learnt that true friends are people who love you not only with their words but with their actions. Some people find it very easy to say ‘I love you’ but in fact when having to act on their words –they can’t.
In that breath here is an observation – In the movie ‘A knights Tale’ the heartthrob tells the princess he will win the competition just for her! But the sister had her brains screwed on tight. As a knight it is in his blood and his nature to want to win the jousting tournament. He would not be sacrificing anything at all actually! So our clever beauty says “If want to show me how much you love me you would lose this match for me’ (major paraphrasing there! You see for Mr. Charming losing the match was not only detrimental to his ego, it could also fatally wound him……….To say the least he proved his love for her. So here is the observation. Words can be easy to say.. but they don’t matter. I have summed up that I don’t need those relationships based on word value. They don’t help me any and the sure do waste the breathe of the person saying them. So for their sake and for mine some things are much better gone unsaid. Like I said there are no regrets. That which has happened has happened and that which was done was done. That which was taken was taken and can never be returned – I have learnt that.
So from now on. It’s the words met by actions that determine where ‘we’ stand. I love being Single cos frankly I can learn most of this lesson from a distance. Its taken me a while to come up with this conclusion. As for those friends and family and others who are only but resounding empty vessels – Monica says it well when she says “I rather be alone then be unhappy”
As for myself I don’t ever want to be the person with words and no action so I commit myself to being true to my words.
I love deeply.
I love whole heartedly,
my currency weighs in all I have to give.
So that’s all I had on my mind for today
PS: Laxa read the blog titled ‘Datable’. Then ponder!
lol
Blondiwe
I know I haven’t written in a week. But I didn’t want to subject you to something written out of need to write it had to be for a reason. Today I woke up and I had a very good reason to write. I have had a lot of things on my mind lately…..
(what’s new! )
So often we know what we want in life. We know where we want to go and we think we know how we are going to get there. So in my thinking lately I realised that I actually don’t have myself psyched out to the core. There is a lot about myself I am actually still trying to discover. Not that I am insecure or anything, Its just that there is a lot about myself that I am learning. I unconsciously realised this when I first started putting my thoughts to paper. Read my profile “Who am I”.
I am constantly growing and changing everyday – for the better. Everyday I go to sleep and I have learnt something new from my experiences gone by. Lately I have taken on more responsibility of things that happen in my life. I decided I don’t want to be the damsel who everything bad in life happened to in life and never quite got over it. I cant blame the world for all the rubbish it has thrown my way, ( I cant dwell on it forever and not make anything of my self because of it. Then it would have ‘power’ over me), just like I can’t blame anyone for some of the wrong decisions I have made in the past. I don’t regret any relationships- I have only learnt from them. I have learnt that true friends are people who love you not only with their words but with their actions. Some people find it very easy to say ‘I love you’ but in fact when having to act on their words –they can’t.
In that breath here is an observation – In the movie ‘A knights Tale’ the heartthrob tells the princess he will win the competition just for her! But the sister had her brains screwed on tight. As a knight it is in his blood and his nature to want to win the jousting tournament. He would not be sacrificing anything at all actually! So our clever beauty says “If want to show me how much you love me you would lose this match for me’ (major paraphrasing there! You see for Mr. Charming losing the match was not only detrimental to his ego, it could also fatally wound him……….To say the least he proved his love for her. So here is the observation. Words can be easy to say.. but they don’t matter. I have summed up that I don’t need those relationships based on word value. They don’t help me any and the sure do waste the breathe of the person saying them. So for their sake and for mine some things are much better gone unsaid. Like I said there are no regrets. That which has happened has happened and that which was done was done. That which was taken was taken and can never be returned – I have learnt that.
So from now on. It’s the words met by actions that determine where ‘we’ stand. I love being Single cos frankly I can learn most of this lesson from a distance. Its taken me a while to come up with this conclusion. As for those friends and family and others who are only but resounding empty vessels – Monica says it well when she says “I rather be alone then be unhappy”
As for myself I don’t ever want to be the person with words and no action so I commit myself to being true to my words.
I love deeply.
I love whole heartedly,
my currency weighs in all I have to give.
So that’s all I had on my mind for today
PS: Laxa read the blog titled ‘Datable’. Then ponder!
lol
Blondiwe
Monday, March 12, 2007
Purpose picked? Destineys' Diva?
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
Philipians 3v12-16
There’s this thing called purpose, many will spend their entire lives looking for it, many will follow something that they think is purpose to the grave. But to some of us our purpose is unfolded to us everyday. It lies in that only constant and certain thing in life - besides life and death. God!
In God I have found my identity. In God I have found the best person I can be for today.
As humans we were designed for a purpose, and wherether one believes in God or not everyone (ok! most people, I have met one person who went around in a little dark room called his life, thinking he was the purpose of everyone’s existence and that everyone was made to entertain him in on a mindless journey called life before he entered a utopian paradise where all his dreams would come true, needless to say a certain someone else very quickly switched on the lights – and now he sees the bigger picture - in the light!.)Everyone has that space or void inside of them that screams to be filled with a purpose and a reason to wake up in the morning (or in the cool of the day for the lucky!) It can only be filled by someone fulfilling, day by day what is set out for them. If one was called to sing for whatever reason, that purpose is fulfilled in going to musical college, and learning all there is about music, and finally manifested when those years at college pay off by landing a recording deal or something along those lines.
Now, there is also this misconception that a purpose in life has to be something big, and glamorous or formal. You don’t have to be a President to have a purpose. You don’t have to be a movie star; you don’t even have to be a platinum card holder. Sometimes the people who have discovered and tapped into their purpose are those who are just like you and me, like the primary school teacher who told you to explore your creativity and unknowingly unleashed a passion in you to fiddle with colours who knows you might be the next big thing the design world has been gugugaga over.
Its also fair to say that we don’t always know where our purpose in life will lead us, and for a majority of people their purpose does not became apparent to them easily, sometimes it requires one to look deeper into themselves, and really search out their souls to find that which has been set out for them. I love the way God does things because contrary to popular non-Christian belief God doesn’t normally call you to the most obscure things on this planet. Normally or should I say from my experiences and observation, God gives us desires and from those stem our calling. Again I will use the analogy of music (guess what I like!). If you have a passion for music don’t be surprised if God calls you to songwriting or if you are destined to become the next Cece Winans .
Um… there it is- the word I have been trying to avoid the whole day… destiny. And no I don’t think that there’s anything bad or wrong about it. Its just that in our modern day lingo it has become something of a mystical term something along the lines of foreseeing the future. I think destiny and purpose are really the same thing. My purpose in life is to be a blessing to others using my knowledge of the business world, or I can say I have been destined to be a blessing in the business world.
I would encourage everyone to seek their purpose or destiny in life. Sit down in a quite place in your world and your heart and really listen to what God has in store for you. He might not give you the whole plot (that would just spoil it!) but he will if you seek him lead you on your way.
As is normal for me to say. Dream big. Aim high.
I think the good thing about a person having reached rock bottom is they will never be scared to try for the fear of failing, they will try for the hope of succeeding. They have nothing to lose.
Love Me!
15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
Philipians 3v12-16
There’s this thing called purpose, many will spend their entire lives looking for it, many will follow something that they think is purpose to the grave. But to some of us our purpose is unfolded to us everyday. It lies in that only constant and certain thing in life - besides life and death. God!
In God I have found my identity. In God I have found the best person I can be for today.
As humans we were designed for a purpose, and wherether one believes in God or not everyone (ok! most people, I have met one person who went around in a little dark room called his life, thinking he was the purpose of everyone’s existence and that everyone was made to entertain him in on a mindless journey called life before he entered a utopian paradise where all his dreams would come true, needless to say a certain someone else very quickly switched on the lights – and now he sees the bigger picture - in the light!.)Everyone has that space or void inside of them that screams to be filled with a purpose and a reason to wake up in the morning (or in the cool of the day for the lucky!) It can only be filled by someone fulfilling, day by day what is set out for them. If one was called to sing for whatever reason, that purpose is fulfilled in going to musical college, and learning all there is about music, and finally manifested when those years at college pay off by landing a recording deal or something along those lines.
Now, there is also this misconception that a purpose in life has to be something big, and glamorous or formal. You don’t have to be a President to have a purpose. You don’t have to be a movie star; you don’t even have to be a platinum card holder. Sometimes the people who have discovered and tapped into their purpose are those who are just like you and me, like the primary school teacher who told you to explore your creativity and unknowingly unleashed a passion in you to fiddle with colours who knows you might be the next big thing the design world has been gugugaga over.
Its also fair to say that we don’t always know where our purpose in life will lead us, and for a majority of people their purpose does not became apparent to them easily, sometimes it requires one to look deeper into themselves, and really search out their souls to find that which has been set out for them. I love the way God does things because contrary to popular non-Christian belief God doesn’t normally call you to the most obscure things on this planet. Normally or should I say from my experiences and observation, God gives us desires and from those stem our calling. Again I will use the analogy of music (guess what I like!). If you have a passion for music don’t be surprised if God calls you to songwriting or if you are destined to become the next Cece Winans .
Um… there it is- the word I have been trying to avoid the whole day… destiny. And no I don’t think that there’s anything bad or wrong about it. Its just that in our modern day lingo it has become something of a mystical term something along the lines of foreseeing the future. I think destiny and purpose are really the same thing. My purpose in life is to be a blessing to others using my knowledge of the business world, or I can say I have been destined to be a blessing in the business world.
I would encourage everyone to seek their purpose or destiny in life. Sit down in a quite place in your world and your heart and really listen to what God has in store for you. He might not give you the whole plot (that would just spoil it!) but he will if you seek him lead you on your way.
As is normal for me to say. Dream big. Aim high.
I think the good thing about a person having reached rock bottom is they will never be scared to try for the fear of failing, they will try for the hope of succeeding. They have nothing to lose.
Love Me!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Brother/ Sister
I love writing poems coz for me poetry come flowetry, is a world where nothing is as it seems and sometimes whats said is exactly as is. So here goes my attempt at conveying something that is close to my heart.
Brother / Sister
Brother be gentle, brother be kind, brother be true.
Brother don’t give her another reason to doubt you.
Once hurt - twice shy, twice hurt – brother don’t let this get worse.
Brother don’t steal her dreams, they are already shattered.
Brother she didn’t know you but you made it a point that she never forgets you.
Brother be careful, brother be wise
Brother I hope you got a good look at her, cause like that - you will never see her again!
Brother get on your knees, brother say please…
Brother you stole her precious
And you know you will never give it back.
Sister be strong, sister be kind, sister don’t let him get to you.
Sister he can take all that is tangible from you, but he can never have you.
Sister you are strong, and sister don’t get me wrong there is no reason to hate him.
Sister get on your knees, Sister pray for him please
Sister he doesn’t deserve you
Sister he doesn’t deserve your tears
And you know you will survive, you will get back on your high heels.
The battle of the wills.
The taking of what isn’t yours,
The redeeming of what is left.
The breaking of fragile thing,
The rising up of a strong sister who has a new song to sing
Zamezinhle
Mar 07
Brother / Sister
Brother be gentle, brother be kind, brother be true.
Brother don’t give her another reason to doubt you.
Once hurt - twice shy, twice hurt – brother don’t let this get worse.
Brother don’t steal her dreams, they are already shattered.
Brother she didn’t know you but you made it a point that she never forgets you.
Brother be careful, brother be wise
Brother I hope you got a good look at her, cause like that - you will never see her again!
Brother get on your knees, brother say please…
Brother you stole her precious
And you know you will never give it back.
Sister be strong, sister be kind, sister don’t let him get to you.
Sister he can take all that is tangible from you, but he can never have you.
Sister you are strong, and sister don’t get me wrong there is no reason to hate him.
Sister get on your knees, Sister pray for him please
Sister he doesn’t deserve you
Sister he doesn’t deserve your tears
And you know you will survive, you will get back on your high heels.
The battle of the wills.
The taking of what isn’t yours,
The redeeming of what is left.
The breaking of fragile thing,
The rising up of a strong sister who has a new song to sing
Zamezinhle
Mar 07
Monday, March 5, 2007
Boy, do I have news for you!
Boy, do I have news for you!
You know, someone asked me how to stay positive when everything around you seems to be going amiss?
Well I don’t confess to being a professor on this but from my experiences I have concluded that;
Firstly we are living in a “self” obsessed world. “Everything is about me,’ “Life is so unfair to me”. Well I have blogged about this before, that as much as the person we look at in the mirror in the morning might just be a vision too gorgeous for anyone to handle, life and everything that happens in it is not necessarily about us at all… Sorry if I‘ve blown a few egos.
Once we stop thinking that everything is about us we might just take most things less personally and therefore we will be hurt by much less.
Have you noticed how you seem to be able to give your friend advice about something – and this might come as a surprise but your advice in turn works out! Then you go through the same thing and no matter what your friend tells you about the advice you gave them, the response you give is ‘you don’t understand, this is not the same, this is like 10 times worse!” sound familiar?
Ha ha ! Well the reason it seems so different when it happens to you is because you are emotionally involved in it. That’s why I say when you start realizing that its not about you and no the world isn’t out to get you, you generally have a more realistic view on problems and might also find solutions to them yourselves – no shrinks involved!
Another way I think works for me is when I realize that, as pitiful as I might be for myself someone out there went through the same thing and got over it. Also the fact that there is someone out there who is going through so much worse.
For example when you think, “Oh no! I feel like I have no friends anymore’- remember the person who has no family anymore.
When you feel like “ oh hats I don’t have money for church camp and I haven’t been for years” remember the person who has no money for food
When you feel like” oh crumbs I can’t pass this exam I am so stressed’ remember the person who cant even afford to go to university.
So in closing I have to say this though, there is nothing wrong with going through a rough time, as long as you go through it and overcame it.
We need to be more open about our problems look around us and we will see how many people are going through the same thing or worse, be encouraged by them and in turn be an encouragement to someone else. There have been many times when I’ve had a rough day and I arrive at Mission McCord’s (hospital visitations ministry) and I leave inspired because I have met people with health problems too great for me to fathom but they still muster up a smile.
Life isn’t so bad.
My gogo(grandmother) use to say “the wrinkles on my face might tell of my many struggles, but the smile on your face tells of the other more sweeter half of my life. One that I have enjoyed every minute of planting into. You see rolling in the mud isn’t so bad, cos afterwards you can have lots of fun hosing it all off.
So I say to you ‘When the going gets tough – walk tall and hold you head up high. That way the mud on the floor won’t drag you down. And the sky might make you realise how high you can still get, and the other people on your level might just follow in your footsteps’
lots of love
Me!
You know, someone asked me how to stay positive when everything around you seems to be going amiss?
Well I don’t confess to being a professor on this but from my experiences I have concluded that;
Firstly we are living in a “self” obsessed world. “Everything is about me,’ “Life is so unfair to me”. Well I have blogged about this before, that as much as the person we look at in the mirror in the morning might just be a vision too gorgeous for anyone to handle, life and everything that happens in it is not necessarily about us at all… Sorry if I‘ve blown a few egos.
Once we stop thinking that everything is about us we might just take most things less personally and therefore we will be hurt by much less.
Have you noticed how you seem to be able to give your friend advice about something – and this might come as a surprise but your advice in turn works out! Then you go through the same thing and no matter what your friend tells you about the advice you gave them, the response you give is ‘you don’t understand, this is not the same, this is like 10 times worse!” sound familiar?
Ha ha ! Well the reason it seems so different when it happens to you is because you are emotionally involved in it. That’s why I say when you start realizing that its not about you and no the world isn’t out to get you, you generally have a more realistic view on problems and might also find solutions to them yourselves – no shrinks involved!
Another way I think works for me is when I realize that, as pitiful as I might be for myself someone out there went through the same thing and got over it. Also the fact that there is someone out there who is going through so much worse.
For example when you think, “Oh no! I feel like I have no friends anymore’- remember the person who has no family anymore.
When you feel like “ oh hats I don’t have money for church camp and I haven’t been for years” remember the person who has no money for food
When you feel like” oh crumbs I can’t pass this exam I am so stressed’ remember the person who cant even afford to go to university.
So in closing I have to say this though, there is nothing wrong with going through a rough time, as long as you go through it and overcame it.
We need to be more open about our problems look around us and we will see how many people are going through the same thing or worse, be encouraged by them and in turn be an encouragement to someone else. There have been many times when I’ve had a rough day and I arrive at Mission McCord’s (hospital visitations ministry) and I leave inspired because I have met people with health problems too great for me to fathom but they still muster up a smile.
Life isn’t so bad.
My gogo(grandmother) use to say “the wrinkles on my face might tell of my many struggles, but the smile on your face tells of the other more sweeter half of my life. One that I have enjoyed every minute of planting into. You see rolling in the mud isn’t so bad, cos afterwards you can have lots of fun hosing it all off.
So I say to you ‘When the going gets tough – walk tall and hold you head up high. That way the mud on the floor won’t drag you down. And the sky might make you realise how high you can still get, and the other people on your level might just follow in your footsteps’
lots of love
Me!
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Time flies
The song playing is Lord lift us up where we belong.
The line I am hearing is " time goes by, no time to cry.
Time's you and I, alive today"
Time flies
Time is that one thing that once lost can never be regained.
Time is what makes the world tick. Time is something that we seem to need more and more as we grow.
To my mother – more time needed to clean my room
To the lecture – more time needed for assignments
To the boss – more time needed for deadlines
Ok so you get the point…
One thing I have come to realised, time is quite the demon in our lives, we either spend time worrying over how to manage it, or spend time wasting it.
Sometimes we get so over consumed with things that make us seem continuously busy, like arranging the already neat pictures on the wall!
Some how we need to learn to manage our time more efficiently. All of us - myself included. Strangely enough though, the things that most consume our time are not unnecessary things. I have been trying to teach myself lately that although I would love to do everything that comes across my path – I can’t! (Time wise that is). There are only 24 hours in a day. 8 hrs are spent at work. At least 8 hrs are spent sleeping (absolute minimum!). 2 hrs are spent eating and preparing meals (at the least!) 1 hr on travel from point A to B, the rest of the 5 hrs some of us have to study!
So this is where priorities come into place. Finding that stuff which is important and doing it first before anything else… I have had to learn this lesson the hard way. So take this piece of friendly advice and use it. Keep track of it! Make use of it!
With love
Me!
The line I am hearing is " time goes by, no time to cry.
Time's you and I, alive today"
Time flies
Time is that one thing that once lost can never be regained.
Time is what makes the world tick. Time is something that we seem to need more and more as we grow.
To my mother – more time needed to clean my room
To the lecture – more time needed for assignments
To the boss – more time needed for deadlines
Ok so you get the point…
One thing I have come to realised, time is quite the demon in our lives, we either spend time worrying over how to manage it, or spend time wasting it.
Sometimes we get so over consumed with things that make us seem continuously busy, like arranging the already neat pictures on the wall!
Some how we need to learn to manage our time more efficiently. All of us - myself included. Strangely enough though, the things that most consume our time are not unnecessary things. I have been trying to teach myself lately that although I would love to do everything that comes across my path – I can’t! (Time wise that is). There are only 24 hours in a day. 8 hrs are spent at work. At least 8 hrs are spent sleeping (absolute minimum!). 2 hrs are spent eating and preparing meals (at the least!) 1 hr on travel from point A to B, the rest of the 5 hrs some of us have to study!
So this is where priorities come into place. Finding that stuff which is important and doing it first before anything else… I have had to learn this lesson the hard way. So take this piece of friendly advice and use it. Keep track of it! Make use of it!
With love
Me!
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